When Quora users were asked about the first thing that they did post a breakup, they shared their stories and their candid answers will definitely give you some much-needed inspiration to leave your past behind.
1. It was a bright and sunny Saturday, until the break up happened. He broke up with me over the phone. I was shell shocked. I tried crying, but I couldn’t. After a couple of minutes of staring into the incomplete conversation, I kept my phone aside, tied my hair in a bun and went into my room.
Then I did all my mother’s clothes, my sister’s and my father’s clothes too. I washed every curtain, every bedspread, every pillow cover. I washed every piece of cloth in my house, literally. This laundry marathon took almost 7 hours. I was deadbeat. I couldn’t stand on my feet without support, my back was aching, my hands were burning. Then I took a hot shower, ate a hearty dinner and slept for almost 12 hours.
When I woke up the next day, I felt different. Yes, I was sad, but it wasn’t more than anything I could handle. The very next day, I joined Carnatic music classes, driving classes and a gym. Now, I don’t have time to cry over him. I’m too tired to think of what happened.
– Parvathy Nair Muraleekrishnan
2. The first thing I did was suppressed the urge to scream.
I wanted to cry, wanted to talk. So I called him. Called him ‘n’ number of times until he blocked my number. Wrote him long mails which I believe he never read, leave alone reply. I was blocked from all social networking platforms.
I tried to cling on to the memories. I played conversations, paused on his pictures and re winded memories in my head hoping that our loud happy laughters would die eventually and his scent would leave my nostrils.
I knew I didn’t mean it and it was just the piled up anger. Scribbled on a paper that the breakup was one – sided. I felt weak after all this. So, I cut contacts with everyone. Switched off my cellphone. Didn’t talk to anyone for the next 3-4 days. No food.
Finally after 16 days, I messaged him, called him.
“Stay away from my life.” he said.
To my 100 messages, this one loud reply was enough.
I broke down, finally.
Cried really hard, really bad. Screamed. Punched pillows. Cried until I couldn’t.
Slowly with each passing day, I began accepting the fact. Very slowly.
I realised how much I had messed things up, overreacted and behaved in an immature way. I did not need so much of drama, so much pain. Time to clean the mess.
– Aditi Dhanvijay
After the third one, I learned mobile application development & landed myself a job with LinkedIN.
After my fourth breakup, I got a job with a US-based MNC.
Breakups have made me financially and professionally stronger. All the breakups happened with the same girl!
– Prince Kumar
4. He’d slapped me thrice. In one go. I was astonished, I loved him. That moment I felt very powerless. I couldn’t handle my heart and the pain it was in when this happened. I was never this weak! I couldn’t breathe for a while.
I told my trainer to train me as rough as possible. I’d never pushed myself this far. I was totally out of my comfort zone. My body ached like anything but I liked it. I couldn’t figure out a better solution to relieve my anger. I used to have marks on my palms and knees due to heavy workouts but I never stopped working out.
I became more mentally tough than I was physically because pain is temporary but pride is forever. You gain the strength from the temptation you resist.
I am one strong person now and trust me, I’ve all the courage, stamina, strength and confidence to hit that pig back. NO FUCKS GIVEN. I am happy as hell.
– Swati Kashyap
5. I dropped her at the railway station as she was leaving for higher studies. Tears trickled down her eyes. She was not leaving my hand. I also cried a bit. We both kept staring at each others eyes. I recharged her phone for ₹ 500 so she could contact me whenever needed. She thanked me and said she was the luckiest girl on earth.
And just like all typical breakup stories, she found a new guy and dumped me. She even told me that I am like a brother to her. I was heartbroken. Cried a lot, lost sleep for months. Going home or being with friends didn’t help either.
One day, my sister called and said, “Papa & amma’s 25th wedding anniversary is coming up, could you send some good pictures of them. I am thinking of making a collage as a gift.”
My dad still tells his friends proudly, “He bought a DSLR with his own money.” My amma papa pose happily. Wherever I go, I take my DSLR with me. I click pictures of my grandparents, friends, my cute little cousins, flowers and fruits in my mom’s little garden or whenever a guest comes over. I can see their smile when I show it to them. I write all the pictures, even stupid ones, in CDs and keep them safe.
– Kevin Shimo
6. My breakup hit me hard. I had a girlfriend of 5 years whom I loved madly. She was my batchmate in college and by the end of our studies, we were firm that we will marry each other. We both belonged to the Jain community, so caste was not a problem. Her family started showing her boys and she casually declined all the proposed grooms. She told me it’s going to be easy for her to ask her parents for me. This filled me with confidence and I started to share the information with some of my family. Eventually, my entire family got the news that I am in love with a girl. Everybody found her sweet and liked her.
One day, I got a call from her that there is a boy coming to see her. I asked her to decline the proposal as usual. But the story took a twist there. After the meeting, she called me and started crying that I am not able to convince my parents and they want me to marry this guy. I told her to let me talk to them. She denied that it’s of no use. The next day, she called me and told me that her father has said yes to the other family. I was like, “He can’t go against your will. You just say no to the other family”.
Later, she called me in the evening saying that tomorrow is her engagement and we need to break up.
The first day, I ran 4 kms. By the end of the week I was running 8 kms. Now, I run about 2 kms everyday, and cycle about 15 kms. In November 2015, I did my first 100 km cycle trip in about four and a half hours. I am now planning for a sub 2 hour half marathon, and a full marathon. I’m fitter. I am faster. I am healthier. Because I ran.
– Ashish Jhanwar
8. I did all the below mentioned things within a span of 60 minutes, right after my breakup:
Boy, that felt amazing!
– Charu Chandwani
9. My 8-year-old relationship came to an end when my ex told me she didn’t see a future with me because my career wasn’t stable. But into the very first week after the breakup, I planned a 12-day trek in the mountains.
At first, I thought I will ride my bicycle for 1000 kms uphill to the base camp of the trek. Later, I extended my holiday with a long 20 day bike tour. And after finishing the trek, I went off on a long solo bicycle tour to Ladakh. I ended up traveling for over 40 days only sustaining myself with a very small amount of cash and my tiny bicycle.
On my way back, a local newspaper published a story about my trip. Things started looking positive and soon enough, I got my hands on a really cool international assignment.
– Nikhil Parnami
10. I recently broke up and sent her a text:
“I don’t know what went wrong but I’m happy (I wasn’t, at all ) with your decision. I don’t want to sound like a psycho but I need to request this.
Meet me in the next birth and let me be the most important person in your life. Have a family with me, I’ll raise our kids, pick you up from office late at night when your car breaks down, cook for your late night cravings and if you are too tired, I’ll take care of kids at night even when it’s your turn. In the next life, adjust with me. Goodbye.”
And whenever I’m sad, I just look at them. This way, I gifted myself peace.
– Vinay Kumar
11. Ex- fiancé said it wasn’t working out. I disagreed, and so began the tears, begging and pleading.
A month later, I realized he wasn’t coming back. It was over.
I started a week later, drove a brand new car and looked forward to frequent, work-related international travelling. My life improved drastically. God removes the people you don’t need in life and rewards you with those who will transform you into a better individual.
– Mariam Naeem Khan
12. The first thing I did before my ex was even out of the door was deactivate my Facebook account. Not change my relationship status, not unfriend and block him, but deactivate my account completely.
I downloaded Meet-Up and went on hikes, went to the movies with new friends, went out for dinner and tried to distract myself as much as possible. When I needed to be alone, I was alone. When I felt like being with people, I went out. I set weekly tasks; read a new book, read an old book, watch a classic movie, do a 10k run, watch an entire season of Game of Thrones.
I did all of this so that I wouldn’t contact him or respond to him when he contacted me. It worked.
– Caelyn Woolward
13. The boy, who I had a crush on for 10 years, who later became my boyfriend of 3 years, broke up with me one day on a phone call. He just called to tell me he was graduating from college and would like to move on without me. He confessed he was just using me as an emotional support for the difficult times after his father’s death and university exams.
12 years later, I couldn’t have asked for a better life. By losing him, I found myself and am way happier than I have ever been.
– Sara Yunzi Koh
14. She unfriended me on Facebook and then blocked me. Needless to say, got blocked on WhatsApp as well. I asked her why are you doing this to me?
She chose not to answer.
I cried a lot. Indulged in heavy smoking and drinking for the next couple of weeks. One fine day, I realized that she is dating someone else. That was enough to kill my sadness. That was enough to bring me out of this state of depression.
I asked myself, “Does she deserve all that I was going through?”
Hell no! Back then, I had a lot of backlogs in my engineering because of which I could’ve lost a year. I decided the best way to answer her was to clear my papers. She thought I wouldn’t be able to. Out of sheer vengeance, I started preparing religiously. Studied for 17 hours straight! And contrary to her belief, I cleared all my papers.